A Womans Worth

At an event this past Summer, a momentary exchange caught my attention and struck a chord.

A beautiful woman, I mean gorgeous, had her child at a big dance recital. I was there for the same reason, out daughters attend the same dance studio, different classes. I've never spoken with her, just noticed her in passing the way we all notice what we find attractive.

There was a big crowd attending this recital, it was a special one at our local county fair. If you've never had a daughter in a class that puts on recitals let me tell you, it's not for the weak. All the costume changes, the little girl drama, the inevitable "something" going wrong...eh, I need a drink just thinking about it.

The woman was there with her little girl, her very young son, and a guy I had never seen before.
What I witnessed was a brief conversation between her and this guy. By brief, I mean less than 45 seconds, but it was enough.

Apparently this guy is the father of her children, and he didn't take too kindly to being stuck alone with the baby while she was rushing around trying to get their daughter on stage and if she was lucky, maybe get to see her little girl in all her public glory.

What made me notice in the first place was his attitude. He gets up from the benches where he sat in the audience , quickly pushing the stroller. The woman notices him and stops watching the girls from the side of the stage and follows him. That's another thing with having your child in a dance recital, the mom's don't get to sit.

The guy walks to a point just past me when she catches up. She asked him what was wrong and his response, with attitude, was that he wasn't going to just sit in the audience all by himself. I guess the baby he was pushing was a non entity to him. As they walked off I heard her explaining to him, very calmly, all that she had to do with their daughter. Whenever I saw him around that day, you could clearly tell he was annoyed to be there.

The first thing I thought when I heard him talk to her like that was, this guy felt put out by having to be a parent. The next thing I thought was, what was this beautiful woman doing with that scrawny, unattractive guy who obviously didn't appreciate her?

Now, I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what I witnessed was a very small exchange between a couple.

However, with this guy's attitude and being I had never seen him at practice or any other recital, I think my first impression was true and this parenting thing is just not for him. What she sees in him, I don't know. Like I said, he is a small, selfish man who is not very attractive. She could literally be in magazines, is a good mom, and a nice person. I really wanted to go up to her and ask "you're beautiful, what are you doing with that guy"? I didn't think it would go over too well so I said nothing.

It got me thinking about women and what we see when we look in the mirror. Do the majority of us know what we are worth? Why do women allow themselves to settle when it comes to love?

I can tell you, when I got married I believed I loved him, but what made me choose him was that he was a good worker and he didn't drink. Those were the only things I thought I needed to make my relationship last forever. Look where I'm at now, what would have happened if I didn't settle? I have my children, that alone made it worth it, but I deserve better.

Us woman settle because we start to believe what we are told. We buy what others selling because all of the advertisements say we should.

So few of us are told as little girls that second best (or 3rd, 4th) is not good enough. That just because there are some fun moments, Mr. Right he is not. Like the lovely Marilyn Monroe once said "I'd rather be unhappy and alone, than unhappy with someone." You need to be with the one who leaves no doubt in your mind. The one who makes you feel so damn good, your momma cries out. Yeah, I went there.

If you're with an unappreciative guy that caught a girl that he doesn't deserve, It should only be a matter of time before you ask yourself what everybody else does and leave him behind.

If a guy says he would like some "time"and "space", give it to him. He may be surprised though when the vacancy is filled in his absence.

If, like I was, you are with someone who wishes to control your every thought, a better way of life begins with just one step. Take it and watch the restraints fall away.

All little girls grow up wanting
someone to treat them special
wishing to be cherished
like throwing pennies in a well
Its not a fairytale
but a lie that is told
Prince Charming never comes
only cold reality grabs hold
To my beautiful little girls
that old farce I will never say
Depend only on yourself, for
there's no one to take you away
No longer do I believe
in tales that have misled
I may not be cherished
but I will be respected